Sex, flannel, and plants! …Also, wood. There’s a fair amount of wood.
I did it! I finished the book. It was touch-and-go for a while there. I have a hard time finishing these books. I’m super jazzed to start but finishing is such sweet sorrow -Shakespeare
City lady and plant enthusiast Ami is leaving Boston and heading up to Vermont for her niece’s birthday. But before she gets there she has to drop off a check for a birthday present being built by a local woodworker, lumberjack, and tall drink of water Marcus. Marcus is, of course, the titular lumberjack. At first Marcus is loathed to spend time with this wrong footwear wearing flatlander, BUT it all turns around when he realizes that he wants her. Sure they’re constantly trading barbs, but it’s all in good lust. And don’t you worry reader this attraction is a two way street. Ami is used to soft city men but seeing a hairy man’s man awakens something primal inside her (I assume, I might be editorializing). Not only is Marcus attractive he’s also good at his job - building things with wood! After being attracted to and impressed by Marcus, Ami heads to her sister’s and the love/hate will they/won’t they Boston or Vermont story begins.
Turns out this is all the master plan of Ami’s sister (name forgotten to time). The sister knows Ami’s not in a great place. Her ex cheated on her with a younger woman who is also a Miss Something winner? Runner up? Contestant? (Props, Bro). And if that wasn’t enough, they worked together and he took all the credit for the celebrated landscape design work SHE DID. Single and jobless Ami is not looking for new relationship (She would take a job though). The scars from the last are barely healed! And if she falls for this lumberjack she’s not sure she wants to give up city life for Vermont life (like, death might be preferable to living in the hell on earth that is Vermont). My understanding of Ami’s understanding of Vermont is that it is more wild than the west was when the west was the wild west. I’ve never been so who am I to say she’s wrong.
Will sex and love make the bad coffee offering, poor wine choiced, nature surrounded, winter having, lawless land of Vermont the place Ami wants to be? You’ll have to read to find out.
All in all it was a fine read. I was maybe a little light on the sex, at least compared to the other books I have read. Also, it could have been crazier. I’m used to sex dungeons, kidnappings, not quite rapes, and cake punching (not all of those things are great). Lumberjack in Love plays out like a nice PG-13 romantic comedy (depending on how graphic the sex scenes are). In less grounded hands Lumberjack in Love could’ve easily been about a murderous loner living in the woods who, unexpected to both parties, falls in love with his would-be victim. And for some reason she sees something in him worth overlooking all the murders. By the end they are killing together and they both get off on it like the sickos they are. …Hold up, I might have a disgusting book to write.
Sex Scenes: 3 I believe
Number of Main Character’s Sexual Partners: 1 (In this story. I’m not sure what the life total is. At least 2.)
Things Main Character Collected as a Child (if I had to guess): Garbage Pail Kids cards
Special Appearances by Neil Diamond: 0
OFFER TO THE AUTHOR (New Section)
To my knowledge there is no audiobook version of Lumberjack in Love. That should be remedied immediately. I would be more than happy to do the reading. Even though the book is from Ami’s point of view I think a man reading could still work. Now, I don’t go around offering to do audiobooks willy-nilly (No one is asking either), so this is a rare opportunity. Give it some thought. I’d even do it for free! (points on the back end)
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